My worst memory
by Rose Eve
Summary: Severus' view on his worst memory. This is a lot like the one in the book. Please R&R. (I AM Rose Eva.)


Snape's worst memory  
  
Disclaimer: I, nor does any other than J.K.Rowling, Bloomsbury, and Scholastic, own Harry Potter or related indicia.  
  
Summary: In the Order of the Phoenix, chapter twenty-eight, we found out what Severus Snape's worst memory is. Or at least what a part of it is. But what else happened that uneventful day? Read this to discover my version of Snape's worst memory. Also includes a little romance between him and Lily. Please review.  
  
~ * ~  
  
"I look outside my window every morning hoping to see your face, I venture through my soul wanting to relive the kiss of yours I can taste. I reach inside my heart and remember the times together we shared, Then I look and find that you're not there." - Rose Eva.  
  
~ * ~  
  
Sunshine was streaming through the high windows casting shadows onto the hundreds of tables that took their place in the Great Hall. For mostly any one, this may have been an intriguing site of a warm June day, but not for the fifth year students. This meant that the time to take Ordinary Wizarding Level tests was upon them. And not only that, but it was one of the hardest tests they were about to take: Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
  
"Severus, lighten up! It's just a test," said a calm Rabastan Lestrange. "You're the best in class, have no worries."  
  
"Lestrange, this isn't some bloody test!" said Severus getting irritated. "This is an Ordinary Wizarding Level! This determines our..."  
  
"...Future career. Yes Severus," said Bellatrix Black, walking beside her steady boyfriend, Rodolphus Lestrange. He was Rastaban's older brother who was accompanying them to the Great Hall where they would take their test. "You have told us a hundred times," she said sounding exasperated. Her long dark hair swaying into her large, hooded eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry. It's just...." Severus started but stopped when he saw James Potter a fifth year Gryffindor with messy black hair, brown eyes, and a charming smile, walking into the Great Hall, trying to ask out Lily Evans, a beautiful Ravenclaw with dazzling green eyes, auburn hair, and a smile that could make even the most foul person happy. "Potter," Severus scowled.  
  
Severus Snape and James Potter have had a horrible relationship ever since third year when an incident happened involving a werewolf, a trap, and a very aggressive tree. Severus never told any of his Slytherin class-mates because he was forbidden to by the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. All of his friends thought it was just house competition that made him scowl whenever he saw the 'famous' quartet of Gryffindors: Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and of course, James Potter.  
  
Bellatrix, Rastaban, and the fellow Slytherins, catching on to what Severus was staring so intently at, turned to face the Gryffindors and scowl.  
  
"Good Lord Peter," Antonin Dolohov, a fellow Slytherin fifth year started. "I didn't think it was possible for anyone to get any fatter than you are but I guess you proved me wrong." This received smirks from all the Slytherins while James looked enraged.  
  
"Yes," started Bellatrix haughtily. "The same must apply to my dear cousin Sirius. And I thought our family was supposed to be good looking? Blood traitor," she spat viciously.  
  
"Oh Bellatrix," said Sirius casually. "At least I don't have the mark burned into my arm at age fifteen."  
  
"Well," she said her voice barely a whisper. "If you knew what was good for you, you would." With that, the Slytherins turned and walked away into the Great Hall.  
  
See Severus," Rabastan said happily. "Something to cheer you up. With the look on James' face, I doubt he'll do good at concentrating on his test." But Severus only made a slight humming noise in response. He couldn't help but think about something else that was bothering him more.  
  
When all of the students arrived in the hall and sat down to take the test, tiny Professor Flitwick banished the students their scrolls, ink, and quills and bade them to take the test.  
  
From the back of the room you could see Severus, a boy with a stingy pallid look to him, like a plant kept in the dark. His hair was lank and greasy – this was his personal punishment for being so enthused with potion making, and it was flopping over the table. He was bent so far over his parchment that his nose was touching the paper, as he scribbled his correct answers relentlessly onto the paper.  
  
The time flew and soon it was five minutes until the examination was over. Severus was still writing, though he had a foot more parchment filled with his miniscule writing, than his neighbors. "Five more minutes!" Professor Flitwick called from the front and Severus stopped writing to examine his paper. When he checked it for all necessary errors he rolled it up and let the tiny professor summon it to the front of the room. After the papers were all collected, they were free to go and enjoy the rest of the bright sunny day.  
  
"So Severus," Antonin said. "That wasn't too hard, was it?"  
  
"No. But I'm still going to check over the examination questions to make sure I got everything right," he said annoyed. Severus liked his friends but he didn't like to be around them all of the time. "I'm going outside to sit and look it over."  
  
"Oh – You don't want to party with us in the dungeons?" Bellatrix said, though she didn't sound like she cared.  
  
"I will come down later," Severus said and then left, following a large group of girls that happened to also be making their way to the lake.  
  
When Severus got outside he settled himself on the grass in the dense shadows of a clump of bushes. He was deeply immersed in the O.W.L paper and didn't heed anything until he heard "Snivellus" in hardly a whisper. He decided it was time to leave so he stowed his paper in his bag, got to his feet and started walking away, stopping when he heard "All right, Snivellus?" It was James Potter. 'Oh God,' Severus thought. 'Please not today...'  
  
Severus reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway in the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"  
  
Severus' wand flew twelve feet in the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius Black let out a bark of laughter, and pointed his wand at Severus, saying "Impedimenta!" to stop him from retrieving his wand.  
  
By now most of the students were watching, some edging nearer and some staying away. James and the fellow Gryffindors, excluding Remus, all turned to him and started taunting him with questions and rude comments about his appearance.  
  
"You – wait," he panted, exhausted at reflecting the spell with his mind and body force. "You – wait."  
  
"Wait for what?" taunted Sirius. "What are you going to do to us Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"  
  
At this Severus let out stream of mixed swear and curse words, but with his wand laying so far away, it did nothing but give James Potter the desire to cast a cleansing spell on his mouth. Severus started choking when all of the sudden he heard her.  
  
"Leave him ALONE!"  
  
Everyone looked around to see Lily Evans standing there, her wand out, red with rage. James started to try and have a conversation when she cut him off. "You think you're so damn funny, but your nothing more than an arrogant bullying toe-rag, Potter. I despise you."  
  
While James was trying to regain Lily's respect, Severus rid himself completely of the jinx, grabbed his wand and said a few chosen words creating a gash on the side of James' face, dripping blood. A second later James whirled around and with a flash of light, Severus was hanging upside down exposing his drawers to everyone.  
  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" shouted Lily, enraged. "Put him down damnit!"  
  
James turned around to see her wand pointing right as his face. She was very smart and exceptionally good at charms, but James being as arrogant as he was said, "Don't make me curse you, Evans."  
  
"Then let him alone," she said. James twirled his wand and Severus landed in a heap on the ground, despising Lily for making him feel like he couldn't handle the situation. But loving her at the same time – for everything.  
  
"There you go," said James, scowling at Severus. "Lucky she was here, aren't you?"  
  
"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her," said Severus, crushed by the look on Lily's face. But she regained her composure and said, "Fine Snivellus, and wash your pants!" After having another heated argument with James, she stalked away, her face slowly dissolving into tears.  
  
James, looking furious, cast the spell on Severus again. When Severus was just starting to feel light-headed, (the fact that James had threatened to remove his drawers highly influenced this) he landed on the ground with a thud, and he looked up to see Dolohov, Lestrange, and the rest of his Slytherin friends, cursing slowly the life, out of James, Peter and Sirius.  
  
"Stop," Severus said, but to no avail, so he let them at it and watched Lily stalk away to the castle. After ten minutes of Bellatrix's and the fellow Slytherin's cursing, the Gryffindors were starting to sustain very serious injuries, so Severus told them to stop and they started to walk back to the castle. But not before Bellatrix whispered to Sirius, "I bet you wish you had it now?"  
  
When they got to the Entrance Hall Severus told them he was going to go to the library and he left to find Lily. 'I hope I didn't hurt her too bad...' he thought. He was walking to the second floor when he heard whimpering noises behind a tapestry that lead to a secret room, a room that Severus used to enjoy with someone up until recently.  
  
"Hello?" he said with a stern tone to his voice. "Is anyone there?"  
  
"Go away..." said a familiar voice, muffled with tears.  
  
"Lily?" he said, and pulled back the tapestry to find Lily Evans sitting on the floor, crying. "Please don't cry. You know I never meant it."  
  
"Please leave me..." she said again. Severus got up and was about to leave when he heard her calling him back.  
  
"What is it Lily?" he said tenderly.  
  
"I miss us. Why? Why did it end?" she said, still in tears but slowly regaining her composure.  
  
"You know what kind of family I come from. I didn't want to have it end that way. And I don't want you to get hurt," he said, starting to feel depressed. He loved Lily but he didn't want it to end. But he had to do it. "I wanted you to hate me."  
  
"You could call me a mudblood a hundred times and I still couldn't hate you. I love..." she started but was silenced by Severus with a deep kiss. His mouth was on top of hers and he was starting to suck on her upper lip. She opened her mouth and allowed his tongue to enter and explore her hot, wet mouth.  
  
Still kissing Severus pushed her to the ground and let his hands wander under her blouse, feeling her soft, delicate skin. She moaned and put her hands in his soft, silky hair, letting him do whatever he wanted. It was a kiss of passion... of lust... of love.  
  
Then it ended.  
  
"I'm sorry Lily. I can't anymore. I just can't..." said Severus, his voice muffled from tears that were starting to form. "But I will always love and be there for you. And if I someday get out of all of this, I'll come back for you. Unless you aren't there..." he said and then walked away, his black robes swirling behind him as he went down the stairs. Leaving a distraught Lily Evans on the floor crying to herself as she repeatedly told herself, "Someday... We will be together."  
  
~ * ~  
  
A/N: I hope this was enjoyed. I felt the need to write an ending to "Snape's worst memory" and I have always liked the idea of Severus and Lily as lovers. Please review if you find the time, Rose Eva. 


End file.
